Lessons on Love

Part 5: Just a Crush, or Real Love?

I’ll be honest…young people being in love seems to be one of the most glorified things, as well as one of the most rejected things. You see, young people have gotten this reputation for being terrible at relationships; and no wonder. Many of them jump in and say ‘I love you’ when they don’t even know each other all that well. Then, they break up less than a week later (Maybe a little less, maybe a little more). On the other hand, being young and in love is possible…depending on the maturity of the couple.

For the young Christian couple, a lot of the time, they might have a better understanding of how to love a significant other better than those who aren’t Christians (Not all the time, however. Like I said, it depends on the maturity of the people in the relationship…even some Christian young people might not be at the level they need to be)

In this article, I want to explain what comes with a truly loving relationship. But, let me just be honest...I haven’t been in a real relationship yet (I’d like to though!) but I’ve been studying and preparing myself for when that time does come. I’d like to share a few things with you that I’ve learned that show what love actually is in a relationship, and for some things for you to remember.

1. You must be willing to communicate openly, freely, and in a loving way to him. It is a huge pet peeve of mine when I see couples break up over one silly fight…or they let the fight break down their relationship. Try this instead: attempt to avoid fighting and arguing in the first place. Train yourself to keep your emotions in check. When you allow anger to overtake you, and your words to flow out freely, you’re not exercising self-control, which is a commandment that we develop. (2 Pet. 1:6, Gal. 5:23, 2 Tim. 3:3, Proverbs 25:28) When you love someone, you will strive to exercise self-control, and to not let our anger produce words that hurt them.

2. You must put his needs above your own. Selfishness has to be one of the main problems that arise in relationships today. You must think about what is best for the other person, not only yourself (1 Corinthians 13:5). You must treat them the way you’d like to be treated (Luke 6:31). Also note that he must do the same. If he doesn’t respect you, then he’s not a good person for you to be with.

3. Don’t gossip about him to other people. Gossip is wrong, as I’ve said before (Prov. 20:19, 1 Tim. 5:13, Jas. 4:11). Don’t talk negatively about him behind his back. Do you really want to hurt him like that? I’m sure you don’t.

4. Be patient with him (Gal. 5:22). Guys are different than us. They do things differently, and their minds are wired differently. They’re not stupid, and God made them to be different than us because they have different jobs to accomplish than we do.

5. Last but not least, PUT GOD FIRST! Doing all of the above things is only part of having a fulfilling relationship. One thing that I’ve learned from watching others in truly successful relationships is that all of them have their eyes on the same prize! Look for a guy who is going to help you get heaven-a man who is genuinely serious about His faith and will love you “as Christ loves the Church” (Ephesians 5:25). Be willing to pray together before, and after dates (or even before the meal at the restaurant!). You should even try to study the bible with him.

When two young people love each other in the way the bible says to do, I’ve seen how wonderful and how strong it can make their relationship (I can’t wait to experience this myself!). Keep praying for the young man who will eventually come into your life. I’m in this too, waiting and praying for my future husband. While you’re praying, prepare yourself and study so you’ll know how to be the best girlfriend (as well as wife later) that you can be.